Goodbye

{ Disyembre 19, 2006 @ 4:37 umaga } · { Feelings, Happenings, Thoughts }
{ Mga Puna (1) }

Oras, 2:30am. Date, December 18, 2006. Location, Antipolo.

Kahapon yan, madaling araw araw ginising ko si Arnold para samahan ako sa Antipolo. Bakit? Para pakawalan ko ang dalawang pinakamamahal kong mga anak, sila Ruru at Shibby na isang pares ng mga rabbit.

Matagal bago ko nakayanan at napagdesisyunan na pakawalan na talaga sila dahil sa reklamo ng mga leche dito. Oo natural galit ako! Galit na galit ako dahil hindi ninyo alam kung gaano sila kahalaga sa akin. Silang dalawa lang ang nakakaalam lahat ng nangyayari sa akin sa loob ng kwarto ko. For even a short time of seven months nasandalan ko silang dalawa sa lahat ng pagkakataong kailangang kailangan ko ng kausap. Sila ang kausap ko sa tuwing nasa terrace ako at pinapatakbo ko sila. Naririnig nila lahat ng iyak, tawa, wish, galit, lungkot at lahat ng klase ng mga emosyon na naramdaman ko. Tinuring ko silang anak kasi Arnold gave them to me when I promised about us. They were so important to me and now they’re gone. The moment Arnold held them and let them run away from us to the forest my heart fell in zillion of pieces. I couldn’t look at them and I couldn’t believe that we were actually setting them free. I felt so sad. I immediately went into Arnold’s car then shut the door not looking back at that part of the forest. Then Arnold came in, started the car’s engine then slowly went away. I broke in tears. My chest really felt so heavy. I was starting to misss them. Arnold tightly held my hand while he was driving. He knows they are so important to me and what we did was trully against my own will. He then asked me to come close to him so that he can embrace me, so I did and cried as hard as I could. To let all these hard feelings out but I realized I couldn’t do it in just one crying.

I really felt like a child crying for her pets which where taken away from her. It so hard. It so hard to let them go and accept the fact that they’re not really here anymore. I miss them so much. I really really miss them. No other pair of rabbits can replace them in my heart.

Goodbye Ruru and Shibby, I will never forget you.

From, mommy.

Bumalik na yung kuryente

{ Disyembre 1, 2006 @ 12:52 hapon } · { Happenings }
{ Mag-iwan ng Puna }

I’m so glad naibalik na sa dati yung flow ng kuryente dito sa floor kung saan matatagpuan ang kwarto namin ng mga kapatid ko at sa roof deck. Kahapon kasi biglang nawala na lang bigla habang pinapaayus ni Papa yung sira naming alulod. Nasira yun nung nananalasa si Milenyo (Xangsane) dito sa Manila. So kung kelan ilang oras na lang parating na din si Reming saka pa pinaayus. Oh ayun nakita ko kanina wala na pala kaming bubong kasi pinatanggal ni Papa. About sa kuryente dito sa fourth and last floors maraming salamat talaga sa mga tauhan ni Papa na umayus ng fuse na sumabog kahapon.

I just hope na sana hindi na maulit kasi natulog kaming dalawa ni Franxa sa mga kwarto naming walang aircon and electric fan. Closed pa naman lahat ng rooms and windows so medyo mainit pero natiis naman namin kasi pagod na talaga kami sa kakatunganga. Nagising ako bandang 2:30am and naisipan kong buksan tong binatana ko dito para magkaroon naman ng hangin kasi baka nasosufocate na mga pets ko sa init pero umuulan pala. So naiisip ko na lang na wrong idea yung kasi baka instead of hangin baka yung tubig ulan ang pumasok mahirap na inuubo pa naman ako. After a while nung nagmumuni muni ako, naramdaman kong nauubo ako and inubo ko na nga at narealize ko lang na parang lalong lumala. Or baka effect lang nung pag-inom ko ng Robitussin? Whatever.

Alright enough with the yesterday’s events and I have to continue my work. A bientôt!

About the continuation of Reminders

{ Nobyembre 22, 2006 @ 4:24 umaga } · { Feelings, Thoughts }
{ Mag-iwan ng Puna }

I’ve decided not to continue writing that post anymore. I thought mas marami akong dapat isulat dito eh. But they’re all undecided. Bakit ba napakaundecided ko?

Oh well anyways, yun lang talaga sasabihin ko pero marami pa ring tumatakbo sa isip ko. Parang magiging Rated 18 ata blog ko ah, aww huwag naman. Baka magalit si Arnold ‘pag nabasa niya toh. Ahihi, bakit parang magiging Rated 18? Kasi may napuntahan akong blog last week and pang top 50 yun sa top sites in the Philippines. Sorry I forgot the link eh. About sa blog (I’ll add the link soon) na yun, puro mainly on kalibugan ang mga posts. Actually yung latest na entry pa lang nababasa ko so parang mali namang ganun sabihin ko pero sa title pa lang ng blog niya alam mong lahat ng laman nun eh tungkol nga sa sex.

When I was a little girl,… Ooops! Ahihi! Teka parang ayokong isulat eh. Undecided na naman ako. Nandito kasi sa taas ko si Pia. She’s my former classmate back in highschool senior sa isang kilalang school dito sa Manila. Until now we maintain the same bonding we made before, the same goes with the other classmates and tropa, eh 19 na ako ngaun 15 pa ako nun, oh di ba matagal na din? Oh balik kay Pia, nagpunta siya dito sa bahay para gawin ang presentation niya na pinapagawa niya pero hindi ko magawa kasi mahirap magdrawing lalo na pag palpak ang power supply mo. Imagine, may sariling electric fan ang cpu ko! Oh yun kaya heto nagsusulat muna ako dito, I mean nagtatype. Eh inantok siya kanina mga 12am, sleep daw muna siya. Gagawin niya daw ulit yung project niya pag nagising siya since wala siyang duty ngaun. Before I forgot, nursing student siya sa Perpetual Help Dapitan. Oh di ba mahirap na pag nabasa niya, baka pagtawanan ako eh. Maybe next time isulat ko na dito, I mean i-piblish ko na dito mga kinky thoughts ko nung bata pa ako.

Grabe ah, medyo giniginaw na ako. Ang aircon nasa 9 ang thermostat, high. May fan sa paa ko para sa cpu ko at fan para sa taas kay Pia. Grabe, kulay violet na mga kuko ko!

Gosh may gusto akong gawin pero hindi ko magawa… Di bale pag alis na lang ni Pia mamaya. Ahihi! ^_~

Oh sige na, naninigas na mga daliri ko sa sobrang lamig eh. Later na lang ulit! ^_^

Reminders

{ Nobyembre 16, 2006 @ 8:50 umaga } · { Feelings }
{ Mag-iwan ng Puna }

-Pretend as if you’re affected.

-Never ever start a fight.

These sentences are the last sentences listed in Reminders that I wrote a while ago in my To do list for today. Eventhough it’s 06:04 am already, the period where sleep would visit me. Except for this time my sadness chased it away. Yeah, sadness is a frequent visitor here in my room. And I love it.

A few hours ago, I learned a lot of things from -e—-. Marami siyang sinabi sa akin tungkol sa isang problemang matagal na akong dinadalaw sa panaginip. Tungkol yun kay —e-. At the same period of time, I noticed something in Arnold. These two things made me sadder these past few days. That’s why I put them in Reminders list in my To do list.

Whenever I’m in front of my pc, I remember a lot of things that had happened to me. Things and experiences that shaped me to be more sensitive than I ever was, more stubborn than anyone in the family and to ignore all people who don’t understand me. Though I love Paulo, my pc’s name, so much ’cause he’s the only thing that understands me. There’s Pampy also, my fluffy teddy bear with chocolate colored ribbon on his neck, his’ shoulders are the one I can cry on, 24/7. I must not forget my papers, pencils, gel ink pens and erasers who read all of my thoughts and feelings whenever Paulo’s offline or when dsl and meralco abandon us.

The first problem started at unknown time and unknown place. It was just these past few days I noticed that —e- treats me differently. She started to ignore me. She refrains from talking to me. —e- is a member of the family and she acts towards me as if I’m not a member too. It’s like I’m invisible. I don’t mind these things ’cause she’s always treating me like that whenever she’s mad at me for no apparent and reasonable reason at all. Last night, after I took a bath my mom entered the bathroom to pee and told me that —e- said that I don’t want her to use Paulo to type her so many projects (according to my mom). She added that ——a too did her project yesterday in a pc rental shop near her school. At first I didn’t mind since they haven’t even told me about all their projects and didn’t even bother approach me regarding such things. But as I stepped to the fourth step upstairs, I suddenly felt anger inside me and answered to my mom by shouting at her, of which I know is very wrong. The defensive side of mine appeared and I said,
“Eh wala naman silang sinasabi sa kin eh!”
“Susumbong sumbong sayo, mali mali naman!”

*To be continued*

Hello world!

{ Nobyembre 15, 2006 @ 7:30 hapon } · { Feelings }
{ Mga Puna (1) }

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